I am not joking when I write that we all need positive practices, I am slightly joking when I say unprecedented times. I do not joke about the hardships that people are going through as we deal with polarizing politics or personal tragedies and loss. We have some people who have died from a pandemic. We have some people who have lost jobs. Some people feel lost, adapting to a new routine with their family at home or working at home.
We still have our daily ups and downs. For me I am adapting to being the mother of a 9 month old happy mischievous baby girl. I love her. And sometimes I hate the responsibility of being a mother. But you cannot undo motherhood. I would not want to. But I have to struggle with the change of life in my own way of living and thinking. I must understand my personal traumas and heal them as best as I can without passing on those traumas to my daughter. I must learn courage to show my weaknesses and also the joy of finding new strengths.
I am so grateful to have a good job that pays that provides necessities and even enjoyments for my little family. I am able to work from home at this time which is quite different from all my logistics and warehouse jobs of the past several years. There is some ease of flexibility in the mornings and afternoons. No rush of getting out the door and remembering to pack everything for the baby and myself as we go through our days in different locations. But it is more difficult to maintain the disciplined habits that separate, and keep happy and healthy, your work and home life.
I also long for a job that is completely different. Active. Badass. But this may create other issues for my family with the types of hours or travel involved. It would be exciting. I would probably love my job. But would it have a negative impact on my home life our my relationships?
Past the philosphical thoughts I try to keep doing the practical positive actions:
Moving my body from my computer to stretch and fuel with good foods.
Continued enjoyment of weightlifting and running or hiking outdoors.
Planning good dinners for our family dinner time.
Learning how to start a blog as a new hobby that might rekindle my love of journaling. A chance to clear the cobwebs from my mind, clarify thoughts, solidify plans.
I started a garden. I am excited to replicate a hobby I learned from my Dad. He learned to enjoy it as a farm boy in Wisconsin and when he became a business man, it was a form of being in nature and working in a different and enjoyable way. Do not resent having to water plants every day and get excited about the anticipated fruits of labor….literal fruits!
Enjoying petting and playing with my husky, and doberman, and maine coone, and bombay. Yes two dogs and two cats.
And one baby. Trying to acknowledge and move past my insecurity or frustrations with motherhood and remember that she will only be this little, learning, beautiful stage of life for a short while. And I will not have these moments again. I hope I remember them.